


process of elimination

by Sumi



Category: Oxenfree
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:58:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/pseuds/Sumi
Summary: Alex struggles to find a way to break out of the endless looping she finds herself in.





	process of elimination

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prosodiical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prosodiical/gifts).



_Is. Leave. Possible._

Alex thought leave was possible in the beginning. The ghosts like to hold that against her. Taunting Alex in between their childish games and choosing random moments to lash out for her false promises of escape.

She thought it silly that the Sunken tried to shift the blame to her because of the false promise Alex never even intended to make in the first place. They always planned to use the five of them to escape Edwards Island from the moment she tuned into that strange radio signal in the cave.

The Sunken knew this time in order to succeed, they had to marinate longer in the bodies than they had with Anna. Alex and her friends practically hand delivered the meat suits they so desperately needed. To think Alex put all this into action by halfheartedly answering a question in a moment of panic.

At the end of the loop the knowledge that she was stuck on this island with a bunch of angry, vengeful ghosts brought a sense of relief, believe it or not. Her friends and the other Alex’s were safe for a time. Until the loop reset itself, at least.

The loops always reset at the Sunken’s discretion. Every single one left Alex with a larger feeling of deja vu than the last one. Around the hundredth reset, Alex began to remember everything from the moment her, Ren, and Jonas set foot on the ferry. Every single loop she’d ever been in.

Alex wasn't surprised with the glee the Ghosts displayed after discovering her memory was no longer falling prey to the stupid loop. Knowing what her friends did not filled Alex with a whole different kind of frustration. She wanted to scream that they've done all this before. The closest Alex could get was giving warnings over the radio and hoping they were received by herself or any of the others.

Remembering when the others didn’t was its own kind of hell. Alex went through the motions, brushing off the concerns of her friends about the odd behavior she exhibited. Still, Alex held onto that tiny speck of hope that she would somehow finally break the looping. If Alex was honest with herself, the tiny speck was probably out of stubbornness to prove the ghosts wrong and that their constant taunting was a waste of their plasma.

Each time, Alex tried something a little different. She spent nearly the first fifty resets doing the exact same thing because she had no idea what was going on. Alex refused to stumble through loop after loop blind as a bat without any of its cool echolocation. Stubbornness could only motivate her for so long, however. The constant barrage of childlike taunts and games the Sunken loved to play soon forced Alex to finally accept that she was never going to find her way out of these loops.

_Leave. Is. Not. Possible._

Alex stopped with the messages and repeated attempts to reach the other million other Alex’s out there. She continued to go through loop after loop, each one breaking Alex down a little further. The latest escape from Edwards Island lasted longer than any of the others. Sure, it was only a week over the previous ten-month limit, but it kept Alex on high alert.

She only started to let her guard down when around Jonas; her sometimes step-brother, brother from another mother, or new best friend. It depended the choices Alex made. This particular time Jonas remained her step-brother, sitting in his attic room with Alex sprawled casually over the bed.

It was a comfortable silence that filled the room. Alex often clung to the feeling because feeling comfort was a rare thing for her anymore. Out of all her friends, Jonas proved to be the one who would recognize the loops beside her. He seemed to get a feeling of deja vu during the resets, but Alex continually got her hopes up when Jonas never remembered how many times Alex had to do this.; how many times they all had to do this in a sense.

“Earth to Alex. You still in there or have you dazed onto Ren’s happy ‘high’ place?” Jonas’s words snapped Alex out of her thoughts and brought forth a snort of laughter.

Alex stayed sprawled out on Jonas’s bed, though shifted her gaze towards un-beanied Jonas. She stared at an upside-down Jonas and even that couldn't deter the fact that he looked cute without the damned beanie Alex was so fond of. Such thoughts had to be clamped down upon immediately, of course.

She shrugged, refusing to return to an upright position. “Maybe Ren lied about that chocolate he gave me just being chocolate. Or forgot.”

“I don't claim to know Ren as well as his toddler bath buddy, but knowing Ren as well as I do, he would forget if they were the 'special’ kind of chocolate,” Jonas half joked.

“I guess we'll never discover the truth about the reason behind Alex’s spaciness.”

He quirked a smile. “That's unfortunate. It's a mystery I was looking forward to solving… or trying to, anyway.”

“Should I be offended that you consider me a mystery to solve?” The idea sounded fun until you broke through all of Alex's defenses and deciphered her odd behavior since coming back from Edwards Island in this particular reset.

Leave it to Jonas to see through Alex's words and automatically express an intense amount of concern. “Alex, are you okay?”

Alex could answer such a simple question with a myriad of complicated answers. 'I’m trapped in fucking loop after loop with literally no sign of escape’ could be one.

Or to double down on how complicated mind-fucky it all was Alex could say something like ‘It’s only a matter of time until the Sunken decide they want to play again. We’ll probably bond over everything like we always do. It sucks because it's the first time for you. I lost count how many it's been for me’.

Alex wouldn't be able just stop there, either. ‘The times our parents get married are the worst. I've been having not very sisterly thoughts about you. It's like full-on Lannister up in my head here. Fuck if I know when it started. Sometimes I wonder how you feel, but what's the point? You'll eventually just forget again’.

She mentioned none of this in her response to Jonas. “Yeah, I'm fine.” The simplest answer, yet a total lie. From the expression Jonas wore, he clearly called bullshit on Alex's answer. It encouraged Alex to add onto the lie by making it a little less of one. “I want to be okay, Jonas. When the Ghost's stop trying to fuck with us maybe I'll be on my way to being okay.”

The world began to shift before Jonas could respond. Alex groaned in frustration and waited for the loop to restart. It wasn’t the first time they restarted everything when Alex and Jonas were in the middle of having a moment. Only difference was that at the end of that particular loop, Alex's warning got through to another Alex.

Alex's attempt was laughed at by the Sunken or if she reminded them of who they used to be, it was pitied. She tried all types of different warnings until realizing it would never save the original Alex. Somehow, Alex had to reach them-- herself. There had to be an end or point to come back to the original loop; the first one that started all that bullshit.

The Sunken deserved some thanks because if not for the infinite amount of time on her hands, Alex’s mind never would have drifted there. She knew there was a ninety percent chance the entire half-baked theory was bullshit. But Alex had to try. Living in this seemingly infinite loop was too much to face; especially alone. So, after reset after reset, Alex began to craft a message she hoped would end all this.

_'So, um, Alex this is original Alex, hoping to reach well… myself. You won't realize anything is wrong unlike the rest of us. For you and time itself, it's the first time. Our bullshit theory supposes that the loops themselves will need to reset bringing us back to the start.’_

Alex took a breath and continued. _‘If we can connect and join (don't ask me how, Alex. I'm winging all of this, but Ren would too, so...), then maybe the loops will prove to be finite. The Ghost's don't know the science behind this. They're trapped because a series of mistakes no one, especially Maggie Adler, meant to cause._

_It's different for me-- us. I'm-- we’re still human._

It would have to work on the first try. Otherwise, the constant looping would continue. Alex didn't want to succumb to the anger like the Sunken eventually did.

And so, Alex waited. She was good at waiting. Since this started, all Alex could do was wait. Begrudgingly, of course.

When Alex finally did meet her original self, it was surprisingly not the trippiest thing she’d experienced thus far. The Alex who remembered nothing because it hadn’t happened to her yet, remained skeptical, but if Alex was anything, it was pragmatic. Alex ended up believing… herself technically, and they joined, mostly hoping this ridiculous theory would work because it was all they had.

_Leave. Is. Possible._

Alex couldn’t fully believe those words even when she woke up on the ferry surrounded by all her friends; including Michael. She expected to be the only one who remembered the multiple time streams, but seeing the looks on all her friend’s faces told Alex that this was far from the truth.

For the first time since this started, they all remembered. Alex took a shaky breath, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of Michael’s stolen jacket even though she had yet to shed any tears. She wondered how much they remembered. Alex could recall every single restart because her awareness existed long before theirs did.

“So… from what I can make out of the jumbled mess in my head, we’ve all been stuck in a time loop?” Ren asked, nose scrunched up in confusion. “Or maybe I ate too many special cookies…”

Alex snorted. “Ren, you wish you were high. I wish I was fucking high. Hell, we all do.”

“Alex, as your big brother, I cannot condone doing drugs, but in this case, I think I can make an exception.”

The cookies had all been consumed by Ren so Alex realized it was a pointless wish. Instead, she moved towards the edge of the ferry while everyone tried to make sense of the hundreds and thousands of memories the different time streams created. Michael and Ren came over and asked if she was all right. Alex doubted Ren had any spoons left to perform his best friend duties, so she appreciated the effort.

Jonas eventually joined her when the dock was on the horizon. She had always felt at ease around Jonas, and hated the bundle of nerves that flared up when Alex noticed his presence.

The wait for one of them to bridge the distance and start that much needed conversation was torture. In some of the later time streams, Alex’s feelings didn’t always remain an unspoken fact. Usually, it was Jonas to take the first step and confess or act in some way. This rang true even now.

“So…” Jonas started to say, his voice eventually trailing off.

Alex smirked. “Cat got your tongue Garbage Snowman?”

“More like the conflicting memories of all those time streams,” Jonas explained, the corner of his lips quirking into a smile.

“Any specific ones come to mind…?” He smelled like cigarettes. Alex couldn’t even remember when he managed to sneak a cigarette. “The ones that are super vivid in my mind is when we end up making out. Or the one where we exchanged ‘l’ words and, you know, spit.”

Jonas’s first reaction was to just stare at Alex. She swore a light blush started to dust his cheeks, but he turned to look back towards the water before she could get a good look. “You always have a special way of putting things, Alex.”

The silence ticked by and Alex decided to be the one break it this time. There was a spark of bravery she latched onto and refused to let go. “Everything is still pretty mindfucky and all, but I think we should have a go at this… if you want. If not, ignore little old Alex over here. She is experiencing a case of word vomit brought on my intense PTSD from what she originally thought were infinite time loops.”

“Yeah. I want to. Definitely. I’d express it more if I didn’t feel like your brother is watching us with unblinking eyes.”

Jonas clearly held back some and Alex wanted to shout at Michael to not pull out the overprotective brother crap right now. He probably was doing it because it was a part of the soon-to-be dating ritual. Alex had done the same with her annoying little sister routine while he and Clarissa were dating. It was just such bad timing.

Without shifting her gaze from the water and the closer than ever dock, Alex slipped her hand into Jonas’s. She twined their fingers together, giving his hand a slight squeeze. Alex refused to look anywhere other than ahead of her.

No whispers from the Sunken could be heard in Alex’s head or the intense feeling of deja vu. It brought a huge sense of relief that maybe this would all be over. Ironically and regretfully, only time would truly tell.


End file.
